Lawrence and I were already legally married by the time New York passed the law because we got married in Vermont when it became legal there in September of ‘09. Vermont was one of the only states that had no residency requirements and was the closest to us, so we simply hopped the border.

But as it happens, we actually got married four times. First, there was a New York domestic partnership. Then we had our wedding in August of ‘09, which we treat as the official anniversary. It was set in 1929, with all the guests arriving in appropriate attire and orchids, our favorite live NYC jazz band, and all our dearest friends in attendance. Even the cocktail bar, with my sister-in-law at its head, served drinks most popular in 1929, including a secret cocktail that only the bridal party had the password to obtain. It was aptly named the Obituary and contained an absolutely lethal concoction of absinthe, gin and vermouth. You had to tell the bartender you were in mourning if you wanted to drink it. We also had a cocktail invented especially for us called the Baritarian Rose. The photos above are a selection from that do.

Then we went and did the legal bit in Vermont, and after that came back and had an entirely separate wedding for Lawrence’s enormous family. We had to pretend that we were doing it for the very first time, too, so they wouldn’t be offended about not being invited to any of the others. It’s like a gay period episode of Frasier.